Rewind

Aiya, you know I really didn’t mean to be emo in the previous post, but the boyfriend was nearly some 6000km away, all the way in India for a magic performance, and coupled with the fact that my period came (albeit on time; see, positivity! hehehe) I just felt like a beached whale all weekend long. Have you ever felt like you’re being consumed whole even when you’re just lying in bed doing absolutely nothing? I was vividly aware of the big gaping hole I was very quickly spiralling downwards into but equally so, I felt as helpless to do anything about it. My arms, legs, chest, even my head all felt like they were made of lead and to even lift a finger to begin getting out of bed was exhaustively strenuous.

I hate my period =(

So yea, India.

The Ninja Rabbit finally got his big break and was sent all the way to India to perform at this 3 day technological fest in Agartala, North India. Think of it as the Indian version of our Future Music Festival haha. Only Indians apparently aren’t too keen about music, not as much as they are about a robotics and technology festival! They have this festival that lasts 3 whole days every year, just to group together the greatest minds in robotics engineering and showcase each other’s works, man! I don’t think I know anyone who’s more passionate about engineering lol. So they were looking for a magician (which is ironic considering these are very big science people — engineers and such, you get the drift) and the Ninja Rabbit got the gig. WHEE!!! As much as I as happy for him, it also meant he’s gonna be away from me for nearly 5 days =(

I don’t even remember the last time we were parted for more than 24 hours =(((

So what do you do when your boyfriend’s not around?

Go for IKEA meatballs with your best friends!

HAHAHAHAHA I have the bestest friends in the world. They were afraid I wouldn’t cope okay without the Ninja Rabbit around, so almost everyday they’re calling or texting me to ask me out for food. I guess their concerns weren’t completely baseless cuz if I hadn’t gone out with them, my diet would have consisted of nothing but instant noodles and packet Mac n’ Cheese LOL. I’m sorry but it’s not my fault those are the only things I can cook without burning down the house. More importantly though, being with them lifted my spirits incredibly. My mind has this nasty habit of wandering to grovel in nothing but sad and morbid thoughts when I’m left too much alone.

Thank you guys for being the sweetest and most thoughtful bunch of support system a girl can ask for =)

I’ve always found exercising a good way to help take my mind off things. Nothing a good solid 15km run can’t do to instantly help me feel better. But the weather has been erratic at best lately so a dry evening was as hard to come by as a blue moon. Under normal circumstances, I hate stepping foot into the gym — that small confined space with its crowded walls and low ceiling always make me feel so suffocated and those weight machines?? I’m pretty sure their designs were taken from those olden days medieval torture device! — but one of those evenings I had no choice. So to the gym it was no matter how hard I try to keep from walking through those cold glass doors. While the work out did help a little, the elliptical machine was really condescending. I imagine that is how race car drivers must feel when made to drive go-karts lol. Now I know why runners call those indoor running machines “dreadmills”. Every minute spent on it consists of nothing else.

I have a suspicioun that if I were a single girl, I’d be a lot fitter and in shape than I am right now HAHAHAHA. In the boyfriend’s absence, I’ve hit the gym and ran more frequently and further in a week than any other weeks. After the embarrassing episode of being caught on the elliptical machine, I laced up my running shoes and ran all of 20km the following evening. My running shoes give me wings, did you know? Everytime I put them on, I feel like I can do the impossible. This particular pair of Climacools have counted over 500km with me can you believe it? Nyehehehehe. It’s endured 7 half marathons and countless other training runs.

I’ve never been able to explain why running empowers me so much. Even more so, I can’t understand why others don’t feel the same way about it. It boggles me when people ask me why I run. The question I have for them is, why don’t they? There are no tricks. Run because you have to. Run because you love it. Run because you want to be fast. Run because you want to be skinny. Run to find some quiet time. Run to sweat. Run to eat. Run to hear your heart pound in your ears. Run because you’re a runner. Run because you gotta keep the streak. Run because you don’t know why the hell you’re running. Run because you fought with your partner. Run because your job is shitty. Run because you got no money. Run for the sunrise. Run for a race. Run because it’s impossible. Run because it’s easy. Run instead of doing the laundry. Run instead of watching TV. Run because no one else understands. Run because the cool kids do it. Run because you’re tired of talking. Run for numbers. Run for feel. Run to prove something. Run because it hurts. Or don’t run. If you got something better to do. Only for me, there’s nothing better than being in the middle of another runner’s high and knowing that for every km more you leave behind, the more powerful you are from when you first start out.

Boyfriend being away also means a lot of experimenting in the kitchen, hohoho. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m the furthest thing away from a domestic Goddess. There are only two things I have the confidence to properly make as mentioned before — instant noodles and packet Mac N’ Cheese. Those are hardly what you’d consider healthy food I’m sure, so to add at least some form of nutrition into my instant meals, I often turn to frozen vegetables heheheh. It’s genius I tell you! They add colour and variety to your food, and are also apparently healthier than fresh vegetables! Yuki told me this herself, and it makes complete sense. Frozen vegetables are usually packed off and frozen immediately after they are harvested so they are not subjected to all those preservatives and insecticides fresh vegetables are laden with to make it to your morning market. Win-win situation, anybody? Sides, my Mac N’ Cheese actually looks rather wholesome, doesn’t it? =P

Yes, I’m kinda proud of my kitchen rendezvous because it’s very rarely that I ever step in there xD

Other times, it’s just me being a total girly girl. You know, I was dreading being alone all weekend because for the life of me I can’t remember the last time I was completely on my own, but now that I’m blogging about it and reviewing it in rather precise detail, I think I had quite a bit of fun. I was left to my own devices to do whatever I please, there is a small kind of joy to that sort of freedom. I took my time to read the instructions and beneficial properties of the my facemask off the back of the package, I laid in bed and just indulged in the cold tingling feeling it left my face in. Me-time is good time =D

I would go as far as to say I went away on a little weekend retreat from the world. I hardly went out and did only things that were pampering to the body and soul. Things that made me feel good, you know. I painted my nails, cleaned out my make up drawer, left treatment cream in my hair for a bit longer than usual… If you’re a girl, you’ll understand the fulfillment in those little seeemingly unimportant things, too ;]

Before I knew it, the Ninja Rabbit was home!

He touched down at 7.25am just this morning and quite instantly, everything was back to normal again. Yayyyy!! Sin Mun was nice enough in offering to accompany me to the airport and I cannot be more grateful. I was rather apprehensive about making the trip there alone, so having a friend along on the 40 minute trip was truly a blessing! The Ninja Rabbit didn’t even know the guy was back in Malaysia so it was all a very nicely planned out surprise for everyone whee!! I figured he’d love to see his best friend (whom he’s not seen in more than half a year btw) upon reaching home. His smile when he walked through the Arrivals gate confirmed my intuition! =D

You know, I think this is the main reason why I rely so much on this blog. Many times has it happened — episodes when I feel a little less than my usual happy self, but the moment I document it out nonetheless here in this little space of mine, everything looks clearer. Better. Brighter. This weekend was one of them. Admittedly, I was feeling quite a big downer in my system, but right now, at the end of this long but also rather incumbent rant, it all seems so trivial.

It’s proven itself so many times, this little blog of mine. The more happiness I key into it, the more happiness it gives back. And in its trail, I am left with the will to look even harder at the most unsuspecting places for little nuggets that may not look like it at the time, but are happiness in disguise themselves.

OK enough talk! I’m sure you’re bored of reading by now anyway haha!

Happy start of the week everyone! New week, new slate! =)

All photos are taken with the Instagram app, free for all iPhones and androids. Follow me if you like @karmun168!! =D

 

1 Comment
  1. Wow, a very inspiring read. Never fail to feel better after reading your posts! Keep it up :) yup, feels the same here , first year of uni is quite challenging, but trying to be as patient and keep telling myself to keep going on and on and on :) ah, friends, wouldn’t have survived the first sem without them :)

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