Someday You Will Find Me, Caught Beneath the Landslide of a Champagne Supernova

There are many reasons why I blog. Firstly, it’s of course my biggest platform upon which I can say all that I have on my mind without having anyone challenge my reasoning. Nothing annoys me more than some Smart Alec who insists on arguing just because he or she gets the smallest kick at watching someone squirm. Secondly, it’s also a great opportunity for me to share my photos, which if not for this little personal space of mine that I can proudly say I own  – paid and sealed, baby – would reside forever in the dark abyss of my hard drive. Already too many things get forever lost in my head, my photos – my most treasured memories – will not be one of them. In that, blogging, by combining the two, helps me tremendously in keeping track of my often wild and disarrayed thoughts, and in doing so, lets me reflect more on what matters in life, and what does not. And whatever that does not contribute to my wellbeing, well they’ve got to go. Only happy things which happify people and lift moods, please.

And this wonderful midweek, they are made up of the best kind.

Among them, big sweet strawberries in my morning cereal. You’ll be amazed at how a tiny addition like that to a routine can make everything so much more interesting. I nearly wanted to pour myself a second bowl before stopping myself at the realization that I was no longer hungry; I just wanted more strawberries. Can you blame me? =P

The weather has been crazy erratic as of late, with the entire city seeing no rain for close to a week and a half before suddenly being blanketed by nothing but pouring water in the biggest, fattest droplets from the sky day till night. I don’t think there’s anyone who loathes insane weather more than I do, but this time, I was adamant in seeing the silver lining to this. And I did. The hot and cold weather that follows no particular trend gave us the most beautiful sky I’ve seen in a while, and though that may not be anything too big a deal, it at least gave me some nice photo opp with my camera. That, is honestly, good enough.

This week also goes down in the list as one of the awesome-st weeks to be remembered, because residing within it, is the day I’ve finally saved up enough to get myself the new EF lens I’ve been eyeing for some time. In between working part time at some education fair over the weekend, cutting down tremendously in the entertainment department, and erm… some *cough* counter-top dancing *cough* I finally reached my target in attaining some new glass for my camera. Saving is no fun, but it has its privileges. Take it from me, someone whose only expertise with money all these years is spending it.

I haven’t gotten the lens yet (am waiting till I get back to Penang where prices for camera gear are exponentially lower than here anyday) but look forward to greater pictures here in this space! I’m talking shallower DOF shots and hopefully, better lowlight performance. Again I’ll say this, I really bloody hate flash shots. But I hate blurry photos even more so it’s all but the lesser of two evils. Which would you have chosen to compromise? I’m excited! =)

I may also have successfully converted the Ninja Rabbit into a dessert person. He’s been more willing to go with me on crazy food craving hunts. I used to have to settle with enjoying my cookies, brownies and cupcakes alone, but these days, I’ve been getting some company. And we all know the best things are best shared. Time to make up for some very serious lost time!

But the best thing about crazy weather that can’t decide whether it wants to bake or drown everything under its mercy? Lazy afternoons spent the best way known to mankind – napping our ways into oblivioun. Young children who refuse to take their naps do not know what a precious commodity they’re passing up. I half feel like going back in time and smack the much younger me in the head for the afternoons wasted not wanting to nap. I’d give anything to sleep an afternoon away these days!

Because not only are they heavenly, they also give you sexy bed hair when you wake up, the sort which no matter how hard you try to achieve before heading out, you’ll unwittingly fail.

And since we all know how rarely good hair days come by, when it does, you grab it by its wretched neck and take full advantage of it. Photograph it till it becomes flat and straggly again. Because when it’s gone, at least you’ll have something to remind yourself why you shouldn’t just chop it all off the next time it refuses to bounce all lively and shiny the way you see them do in the shampoo ads. Just sayin’.

Why is it that hair never looks this good when you have an impression to make? Or worse yet, why does it ever only finally decide to cooperate right before you’re about to hop into the shower and scrub the life out of it? It be trolling! D=

It kinda reminds me a lot of how everything else in life is sometimes. You never look your best when you most need to; you never get the break when you’re most desperate; you never get the motivation and inspiration you need to go that extra mile. You try, but in failing time and time again, you learn to settle. You learn to be happy with second best. Or at least you try to convince yourself that you are. Deep down, we all know we do not want second best and in the frustration of feeling short-changed, we turn onto everything else that we have going for us, destroying all the good and right that we’ve fought so hard to finally attain, in our inability to fix the single wrong.

I have done that mistake many times, and while I am ashamed of it, it is time I learn to control that anger rather than have it overpower me. My Mum was right – it is up to no one but ourselves to make good of a situation and to see the ever elusive silver lining to even the darkest of cloud. It is nobody’s responsibility but our own to make our own lives a happy one. Of course shit is going to be tossed our way every once in a while. But we have the full capability to either quickly scrub the unpleasant off our doormats before it sinks in and stains the carpet after which the stench would stay for a good, long while, or allow it to hit the fan while we all but helplessly watch by the sidelines, waiting on someone else to fix it.

This here is exactly why I blog. It allows me to look at things from a perspective other than my own, something which a lot of the time is an extremely ardous task for me. It allows me to note down all the blessing that have walked into my life, purposefully or not, in whatever form. This being able to step back every once in a while and look at my life from a third-person’s point of view, even if only a peek into the whole picture via this small window, helps me grow. It lets me see my mistakes, my wrongs, and my faults. Following that, it allows me see which parts I wish to amend. Kinda like a rewind on what that has happened for me to watch frame by frame, so I know what not to do the next time. Who wouldn’t like a rewind button on life, right?

But like every other privilege, it, too, is subject to abuse, and if taken advantage of one too many times, may be revoked and have all its perks stripped. That is the fine print we need to wary of. I am now well aware of mine.

P/S: Another little thing that shows more than ever that I am lucky beyond compare: I made it into the 60 shortlisted contestants for the Bobbi Brown Instant Make-up thing that happened some month ago. Good things do come my way, I just need to learn how to recognize them more often =)

Spot my name? ;]

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