They Call Me Quiet Girl, But I’m a Riot

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I’ve learnt my lesson. I’m never again complaining about having too much to do over a weekend. It’s been two weeks of nothingness since I foolishly complained, and the results are that I’m this close to dying from complete and utter boredom! That is a big reason why this space has been dead for close to a week. No fun stuff means no photos, and no photos means no blogpost. And believe me, I’ve been itching to blog like a coke whore suffering from withdrawal symptom. Smaller reasons are contributed by uni assignments and other annoying little things as such, which I’m not even gonna bother going into detail. I may be bored, but that’s no reason for you to be bored, too! ;]

To counter the sluggish mid-week two days ago, I painted my nails a bright, cheery colour to help lift my moods.

I’ve never been much of a blue person, but this electrifying shade of turqoise was just screaming my name when I was rummaging through my drawers for a happy pick-me-up colour to counter the Wednesday humdrum. Eversince then, I’ve been getting comments from friends that it apparently really suits my skintone, and that it makes me look fairer, so maybe I should really reconsider my favourite colours list ;]

Also, because nothing much has been going on, the Ninja Rabbit was so bored he decided to one day volunteer to cook dinner. We eat out most everyday since I can’t cook to save my life and we’re both too lazy to want to do the dishes if we even try to cook, so of course I jumped at his offer. You have no idea how badly we crave for home-cooked meals. There’s nothing like food that’s made, prepared, and served with love. Appreciate it you, all those who still live at home and get it everyday. Pizzas and take-outs are really not all that they’re hyped up to be!

The Ninja Rabbit seems to have a soft-spot for Italian food, so Mushroom Aglia Olio it was for dinner last Tuesday. I just so happen to luckily looooooove mushrooms.

It was the best olio ever because I got to have it with all the mushrooms I want. Those you get outside usually scrooge on the ingredients so you hardly taste anything but pasta. I cleaned off a grand giant plate, and would have asked for seconds if only there were any left!

To illustrate just how boring this whole week has been, the most exciting thing to happen over the week was, believe it or not, my scheduled car service.

And even then, the fun part lasted only like 5 minutes when we were doing this:

You know the Ninja Rabbit cannot resist any opportunity to desecrate anything.

The rest of the one hour wait was… well, boring. We watched Tom&Jerry on the miserably small TV in the waiting room and kept checking the clock every five minutes only to be disappointed at how slowly time was passing. But even then, there was a quiet sense of contentment resting over everything, not unlike a warm blanket that’s been pulled over you in bed when it’s pouring outside. And that one hour of laughing at Tom try fruitlessly to capture little Jerry, uneventful as it was, would be also another mind photo I’ll be slipping into our photo album of a whole bunch of other mind photos. They’re the best sort, the ones that cannot be captured by my camera no matter how hard I try. Because what that eventually shows up in the LCD screen would pale so drastically in terms of significance that I always delete them off because they were doing to us what the Ninja Rabbit too often do to so many things — they were a desecration.

Because most times, moments like that are felt more than can be seen.

Small moments like when he’s concentrating really hard on his online game, frowning at his laptop as if it had done something repulsive to him, yet when he finally notices that I’m watching him, he would regardless of anything, look up and smile at me like he’s not seen me in weeks.

Or like whenever I try to take a photo of him, he’d first oblige with a “nice” photo before pulling a face the next moment just to make me laugh.

I don’t know at all what hit me but I just woke up one morning sometime earlier in the week feeling so very grateful of everything and all that I have. Like suddenly, it just dawned on me that my life could be wrong in so many ways, and I, broken in so many aspects, but it’s not. So many people out there are lost and confused and helpless of situations far within their ability to fix and make right, but I am so luckily not one of them. And I’m fine and whole for a reason. I have the strongest support system that I could possibly ask for, and though they may be all the way in Penang as we speak, I still have a small part of that with me here, in KL, 350+/- km away. Like my Mum, and Dad, and brother, and two younger sisters (don’t tell them I said this or I’ll never hear the end of it ;]) I know he’ll always be here when I’m faulty and need fixing. He’ll be here even if I’m working just fine but needs a little polishing and spoiling, just like they always have.

I think the calamity that hit Japan had something to do with all this revelation. Witnessing another’s crisis and suffering, though my heart goes out to them, makes me feel extremely thankful that I am safe and that everyone whom I love and care about are, too. It’s hard to imagine how easily we can lose the things we treasure most, and it’s only going to be ten times harder to stomach if it were to really happen. So maybe I grew up, maybe I finally got my head out of the bubble of rainbows I’ve been stuck in for so long, but I suddenly see how lucky I am to be who and where I am right now. I’m not starving; I’m not struggling two jobs to keep a roof over my head; in fact, I’m not enduring any forms of hardship, no matter how remotely small, at all. I think I can safely say I am very much blessed with a good life, where most everything is provided as and when I need it.

Quite the contrary, I can still afford to eat out everyday – if that’s not proof of a good life, I don’t know what is. On top of that, I have enough to indulge in things I don’t really need: make up, clothes, silly rings and earring, and – how can I forget – more than enough pairs of shoes to last me the next ten years, provided that they don’t go out of fashion. If I save up, I even get to squeeze in a holiday somewhere. What am I really complaining about here?

I just woke up one morning, despising my old self who had only ever wanted more, and did nothing but ask, take, and receive without ever having actually given anything back in return. The old me was so blind to all the riches that had been there all along. So she couldn’t afford to fly halfway around the world for a Bon Jovi concert; so she wasn’t able to trade-in her old 500D for the new 60D; so she wasn’t able to walk out of ALDO with that pair of pumps that made her legs look miles long. But what does all that matter if she hasn’t got someone to go to the concert with, or people and memories to capture with the new camera, or a birthday party of someone dear to attend in those pumps?

If it’s something I learnt, it’s what you have right now in your hands that you need most. It’s what you want most, you just don’t know it yet. Appreciate that before going after immaterial things that don’t really last. Because nothing really lasts. Nothing like love, family, and friendship. Those are the things you wanna put your money in.

I have an amazing life, and I am going to start appreciating it.

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