White Wolf, Black Wolf


There is a tale the Red Indians tell of a fight that goes on within every one of us.

It is a fight between two wolves — one black and one white. The black wolf is everything evil. It is made up of anger, sorrow, envy, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The white wolf is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth compassion and faith. Each and every one of us harbors these two wolves and the same fight goes on within us. It goes on inside every other person, too.

Who will win this fight?

The answer is simple — the one you feed more.

I came across this story in the form of a comic  on Zen Pencils last week and for some reason, couldn’t get the message out of my mind all weekend. But I am glad to have stumbled across it because it inspired me to feed my White Wolf as much as I can and hopefully in doing so, starve my Black Wolf till it  shrivels up and die.

I fed my White Wolf the only way I knew how — by feeding myself too haha!

On the whim, a bunch of us decided to have a picnic at the Shah Alam Botanical Gardens, where we went cycling just a couple weeks ago. We spotted a nice picnic spot by a nice, crisp pool and thought what a wonderful notion it was to have a picnic there one of these days accompanied by a nice dip into the pool when we were done eating. We finally made it happen.


We called up a few friends who, despite the last minute planning, all jumped on the bandwagon with all the enthusiasm they have.  And that was how quite suddenly, we had ourselves the grandest picnic ever seen.


We made it a pot luck so everyone brought a little something. I was worried there wouldn’t be enough food, but at the end of the day, there was still so much leftover we ended up having to lug food home lol. Vanitha made the softest, fluffiest mashed potato, Aida brought some really kick-ass homemade spaghetti and meatballs, and Marisa bought my favourite creampuffs in all sorts of flavours from Beard Poppa. The Ninja Rabbit, in turn, whipped up his signature hot dogs with chopped onions, only unfortunately we forgot the onions and left it in the fridge hahaha! But it was still good and can I say we had the grandest afternoon stuffing our faces with yummy food and then splashing by the most refreshing pool this side of town? We fed our White Wolves and I daresay we fed it real good.


Vanitha even snuck along a little something for our fruit punch to give that afternoon a little extra kick. I love this bunch of people — they always know how to have a good time and needs little or no convincing to head out the door and make happiness.


It was quite a hike up to the location so by the time we reached, we were all ravenous. We had all skipped breakfast so we could feast together and it was indeed the best decision ever. I don’t think nachos and salsa ever tasted so good, and the hotdog and mashed potato might as well be something off a 5-star restaurant menu.


Eating all that accompanied by some really old friends you’ve known since primary school? No 5-star restaurant come even remotely close to this level of awesomeness.


I never gave it much thought but I’m the sort of person who is easily upset by even the most trivial of things. As much as I hate to admit it, I guess all these while my Black Wolf has always been the more well-fed one. If anything simply strays slightly away from plan or something fails to go as I wanted it to, my heart would sink so far down into the pit of my stomach that it would take days before I can retrieve it again.

That afternoon, sitting in that quiet enclosure in the woods with a hotdog in one hand and a Bacardi-spiked fruit punch in the other, surrounded by some of my bestest and oldest friends of high school, I decided then that my Black Wolf has gotten too fat. It was time to feed my White Wolf better.


So I fed it, both physically and spiritually. I fed it all the mashed potato I can spoon onto my plate without leaving nothing for everything else. I shoved oodles of pasta and huge, juicy meatballs down its throat.


More importantly, I helped it wash everything down with a pitcher of laughter juice and triple shots of love from being surrounded by people who mean so much and whom I hold so dear to heart. If you want my advice, if you’re having trouble feeding your White Wolf because we all know the Black Wolf is immensely sneaky and cunning in getting its way, call up your best friends and go on an eating spree. They’ll help hold away all the Black Wolves in the world and pave way for only Mr. White Wolf to have his fill, unperturbed by any form of negativity.



Haha caught with a mouthful of pasta! Aida, I must say your meatballs were amazing! I love it that they were huge and chunky to the bite =D


Mosquitoes hounded after our blood and ants made it a personal mission to get into our punch, but what I remember more clearly was how crisp and clear the air was in the middle of that forest clearing, and how sweet the sound of laughter was that resonated all around the perimetre from one stupid joke too many.

picnic 2

Hi everyone who was there that Saturday morning and completely made my weekend, do you know how awesome you guys are? The message got sent out and hardly an hour in, everyone already agreed to coming and even listed down what each was bringing. My White Wolf has never been happier than at this moment, typing this.


After food, it was time to work all those calories off! The boys readily jumped into the pool despite my insistence that they wait half an hour for the food to settle. Boys will be boys, right?


The rest of us progressed into the water much more slowly lol. We’re girls; it’s only natural that we can’t decide whether or not to jump in and get wet, or stay dry and not have to worry about tangled and chlorine-dried hair later.


When finally we decided to join them, I was bloody hell surprised at how deep it was. The pool was something like 8 feet deep!! For a 5’3′ person like me, that might as well be the ocean!! It didn’t help that I couldn’t swim so half the time I was just clinging onto the Ninja Rabbit like he was my human float LOL.



Thanks Marisa for the pics! I love, love, love them because they so very aptly captured how happy we were that Saturday afternoon =)



My White Wolf is rolling around on the floor verging dangerously on the point of a food coma at this point xD

picnic 3

10 years ago, these girls started secondary school along with me. We were wide-eyed 13-year-olds who felt so grown up in our brand new turqoise pinafore and freshly ironed blouses, eager like nothing else to embark on the next 5 years together.


If you had asked me then where did I see us 10 years later, I would never have guessed here, in the middle of the Shah Alam Botanical Gardens, swatting away mosquitoes and ants, eating hotdogs and nachos, and reminiscing about the best of our days in CGL.


It was an amazing day, can you tell?




Thank you guys, for helping me feed my White Wolf. You guys came, with your pots and Tupperwares of the yummiest food and fed the both of us — my White Wolf and I — enough to last us the rest of the month. I hope in doing so, you guys managed to feed your own too.


And of course, this silly boyfriend of mine couldn’t let a day go by when he doesn’t desecrate something LOL. I should really one day make a post of all the things he’s desecrated, just for the fun of it. He’s even photobombed some Saint’s statue when we were in Malacca LOL.


Hahahahaha I wonder what did the Ninja Rabbit see that heralded an expression as such from him??

Man, I almost didn’t want to finish writing this post because reliving that Saturday proved to equally as much fun! Let’s do this again!

The new week is upon us now — I hope your weekend was just as awesome to help you last the rest of it =D

Have you fed your White Wolf lately?



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